You think it’s hard being a parent? Try doing it while legally blind.
First of all, it’s hard to keep track of toddlers under the best of conditions. They’re fast, devious, and somehow programmed to find the least suitable thing to do or play with. If you are visually impaired, the response time–ever so critical when your child is racing toward the stairs–is impeded when you have to ask his sister, “What’s Ian doing?” Of course, she’s also trouble, because she’ll sneak off to the kitchen, standing on a rickety stool, trying to get the Oreos, before I’m aware she’s gone. And, even when they’re both corralled, I can’t tell what’s going on.
“Ian hit me!”
“I didn’t see it.”
“But he did!”
“Ian, did you hit your sister?”
Are they running with scissors? Sticking a paper clip in the socket? Playing with matches? Eating cat litter? It’s not like I can be sure…
So I sit here, listening, waiting for the scream that signifies injury, trying to ignore who-hit-whom accusations.
Parent of the year, that’s me.