The first of May is International Workers’ Day, which apparently frightened some people in my hometown back during the McCarthy era. They decided to re-christen the holiday Anti-Communism Day and hold a parade. They’re still doing this, as if the creeping Red Menace is coming for them.
The irony is that Fayette County, Pennsylvania, is probably about as economically screwed-up as an Eastern-bloc country from the mid-80s. Of the remaining Communist countries, only North Korea has a lower standard of living.
But they are free, these brave folks marching in their Anti-Communism parade. They have guns, don’t they? And a Sheetz gas station. This is why those patriots died for us in all of those wars! (Of course, the only real war we ever fought against Communists was a disastrous mistake, but try getting someone at the parade to admit that.)
What do people in Cuba have, aside from better medical care than you can get in southwestern PA? They don’t have Eat-N-Park, that’s for sure.
I am not a Communist, but I am opposed to Anti-Communism Day. You see, as a member of the local high school band I had to march in that damned parade every year as if I gave a shit that someone back in 1955 wanted to give a metaphorical finger to those who disagreed with him on politics, as if the weepy old guys in pants pulled up to their nipples grumbling about baggy pants and sideways baseball caps represented some sort of ideal citizen.
This is a lot of bitterness for something I haven’t thought about in a decade, I know. But, really, Fayette County–Anti-Communism Day in 2013? How behind the times are you?