On the Anti-Affleck Backlash

Why the fuck does anyone care about Ben Affleck playing a superhero? A big-name star took a role in a blockbuster franchise? And the star can’t act that well and the movie is probably gonna suck donkey balls? Holy leotard-shitting surprise, Batman!

Yes, most Ben Affleck movies suck. So what? At least half of the live-action Batman movies are shit. More than half of all superhero movies are shit. More than half of all movies of any kind are shit.

But, hey–you’ve read this comic since you were seven so the studio should listen to you, right? You have an internet connection and Justice League Underoos! You are a force to be reckoned with.

Not that you’ll boycott or anything. No, you’ll be there at midnight dressed as the Penguin, complaining about how it would have been better if they’d been more true to Bob Kane’s original concept or whatever. And then you’ll see it twice more just so you can be sure it really was that bad. Just like you did with the Star Wars prequels and Spider-Man 3 and The Hobbit: An Exhaustingly Literal Translation,

So save the whining until you see the movie, asshat, because we all know you’re gonna, and you’re gonna buy the blu-ray for your collection and in five years, you’ll bitch about the next re-boot.


About semiblind

Bringing you stark existentialism since 1981.
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