Monthly Archives: September 2013

An Elegy for Mandy Moore’s Talk Show

Every day at noon I sat eating a bowl of Lucky Charms in a chair we’d pilfered from the model apartment next door. John, who slept in the same room as the TV, would yawn and stretch and join me … Continue reading

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Kristy, at the Bottom of a Slippery Slope

My wife is so charmed by our son that she can barely bring herself to punish him. Things that would have gotten Mia serious consequences are shrugged off, Oh, you bit your sister? Bad! Have some candy and don’t do … Continue reading

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What My Son Said This Afternoon, Translated to Intelligible English

Where’s Mommy? I want my blanket. And some milk. No, I don’t need a new diaper. I like being wet. No seriously. Don’t change me. Asshole. Put Toy Story on for me. No, not the DVD–the blu-ray. Don’t sit there. … Continue reading

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You’ve Been to Bohemian Grove…

Rich and powerful men gather in Bohemian Grove to hold mildly pagan faux-rituals and pee on thousand year old redwoods while they network with one another for a few weeks in July every year. Every Republican President since 1923 has … Continue reading

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Based on a True Story

My father- in-law was once a contestant on The Dating Game, back in the 1970s. None of us have seen the episode in question, so I like to imagine that he showed up wearing a sky-blue leisure suit with wide … Continue reading

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Why “fair” is not always easy

Let’s think about fair for a moment, shall we? What does fair look like? Fair is not everybody having the same thing. We tend to think that way because it’s the simplest explanation: You and a friend are walking around … Continue reading

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The New Teacher Evaluation System Explained in Plain English

From now on, 100 percent of your students will demonstrate a mastery of at least 80% of the material you’ve taught them this year or you will not be rated a Highly Effective teacher although to really attain that rating … Continue reading

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