Words for My Son (In a Few Years)

When my son gets a little bit older
I’ll tell him that he can rest easy
being a White male and therefore
protected by institutional privilege
and favorable cultural assumptions
so even if he has to withstand the
occasional PC shaming he will be
fine in the long run & more statistically
likely to get loans or taxicabs or
jobs in the boardroom and thus
receive all of the peripheral benefits
that come with the perception of
Success like marriage to a well-bred
woman looking to be kept under glass
for presentation at special black-tie
gatherings where other privileged white
men will ogle her and imagine touching
her firm round breasts even though my
son will know she’s as frigid as a
moonless Arctic night which is why
he will have a mistress or two and I’ll
tell him that the clap can be cured
with a few pills so no worries about
that but herpes are something your
WASP heritage cannot protect you
from and maybe I’ll explain to him
about Michael Douglas getting cancer
so perhaps don’t be that concerned
about her pleasure but always be a
gentleman and pay for her cab fare
home from the hotel afterwards
because the ladies will compare notes
in the bathroom between lines of cocaine
while he’s waiting for her to return
so he can eat his well-deserved and
well-aged Pittsburgh-rare steak
and while he’s waiting he should
consider how lucky he is to be
a man and White, and that good fortune
must be appreciated and not wasted.


About semiblind

Bringing you stark existentialism since 1981.
This entry was posted in best-laid plans, family, observations, people and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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