Red Flag

There are pickpockets in Paris.  Everyone tells you that.  These thieves hang out near tourist spots, and they’re quite good at stealing your things.  

My father-in-law suggested that Kristy and I buy some clothing from Travelsmith–shirts and skirts with hidden, zippered pockets.  That brand, though, seemed relatively expensive, so we turned to Amazon, the bargain hunter’s friend.  I did, indeed, find low-cost clothing with hidden pockets that should be quite helpful in safeguarding my belongings.  

The catch?  These are “tactical” shirts, designed for your average paramilitary enthusiast or anti-government militia member.  The numerous pockets are Meant to hide your multitude of secret weapons.  (Item often bought with this shirt: a bullwhip!)  My favorite feature of these shirts is how the buttons on the front of the shirt are fake, hiding a zipper that allows the wearer easy, stealthy access to his or her concealed handgun.  The shirts are also larger than anticipated, as the looseness of the fabric will help hide the pistol tucked in the small of one’s back.  Colors include “Sheriff Brown” and “LAPD Navy.”

Suffice to say I am not wearing these shirts at the airport, and I’m probably on some sort of ATF watchlist now.  

As I don’t own a handgun, I wonder what other purposes I could find for these pockets, zippers, and spacious spots,  if you have any ideas, let me know.

About semiblind

Bringing you stark existentialism since 1981.
This entry was posted in best-laid plans, Europe 2015, fear and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s