if my moody tween daughter
opens the microwave
while she’s yelling
and stomping around the kitchen
I’m going to push her in
and slam the door
and test the urban legend
about exploding hamsters
I know, I know
she’s much larger
than a hamster
so I’ll have to be patient
a skill I’ve had to hone
with this kid
for 11 long years
I’d give it
twenty minutes
which is about how long
my patience lasts
and if she hasn’t blown up
I’ll let her out
and give her some ice cream
and explain that it was
all for science
and then send her to bed
in the middle of the night
I’ll peek into her room
to see if the radiation
from the microwave
causes her to
glow in the dark
and if it does
I’ll move my son
into her room so he has a
permanent night light
and I will encourage
my little glowworm
to explore caverns
and work at a haunted house
some day
she will thank me
for making her who she is
if she doesn’t explode
...said the blind man... 