Monthly Archives: February 2013

Why don’t you write something happy?

When you’re building monuments pain makes a better medium than joy. It’s stiffer easier to shape more visually striking. Happiness just sits there like a lump of sparkly unicorn shit that can’t be molded and hurts the viewer’s eyes with … Continue reading

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My name is Never-Was

Paul McCartney wrote most of his great music by the time he was 28. We’re talking “Yesterday” and “Hey Jude” and “Let It Be.” Era-defining work. 28. And I’m 32. What the hell have I been up to? I write … Continue reading

Posted in best-laid plans, clusterfuck, despair | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

Raymond Chandler had a farm…

NOTE: Recently, a friend of mine shared a link purporting to be a rejection letter from The New Yorker to a persistent author. The letter seemed unduly cruel until I realized that the rejected author has submitted a poem called … Continue reading

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You’re right

If Anne Frank had a gun she would never have died in that concentration camp. And if Martin Luther King packed heat James Earl Ray wouldn’t have wasted him on that balcony. Had Gandhi carried a revolver no Hindu extremist … Continue reading

Posted in history, poetry | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments


Why is it that some responsibilities large as blue whales still seem like fun at the outset yet the simple task of doing the dishes feels like some sort of Herculean undertaking? I knew a girl of 13 who wanted … Continue reading

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The roles we play

Mia is climbing on me and yelling ribbit! in my ear, despite the fact that frogs don’t generally attempt to irritate adult-sized humans. She has no commitment to character. Of course, why she’s a frog is beyond me, we’re just … Continue reading

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She’s a pistol

My family is one strange clown-car full of oddballs. There’s my cousin Richie, the tinfoil-hat conspiracy libertarian, and my Uncle Bill, whose greatest joy is mowing his large yard. My Aunt Dona has a houseful of Dachshunds she’s fostering. My … Continue reading

Posted in family | Tagged , | 4 Comments